Dave and I are at the tail end of our remodel and the painful beginning of the actual moving process. I thought I would do a series of posts that highlight what we’ve learned, how we did little things to make our home “ours,” and general tips. We are real estate agents but we’re also human, I hope you’ll find our chronicle of our adventure funny and useful. I’ve decided to make these posts a bit raw, we’re not always polished and professional – this is a slice of our reality; we’re just like our clients, we’re like you, and we’re doing the best we can. Don’t worry, I will get back to the serious things like the economy and our rising market, new lending laws, etc.; but for now, I’m pretending I’m just like Nicole Curtis only my hair isn’t always fantastically, perfectly mussed and I don’t hang out with LeBron James. (I’d prefer Steph Curry anyways. Go Warriors!)
So to kick things off, here are the remodel/moving realities that no one tells you about. Unless it’s your best friend over a glass of wine but even then…. there are those moments you don’t admit to where you tell yourself that life will be back to normal soon just to keep your sanity.
1. You will make friends at Home Depot. You will see those friends more often than you see your family. You may have a day where you spend more time with those friends than your spouse. Home Depot will be your home away from home (or Lowes or Menards, depending on what’s closest). You will know the store better than some of the employees. You will *hopefully* learn that Michelle’s son says the cutest things, Ruby will always go out of her way to ask how your day is going, and David who resembles Thor will be super polite when your husband yells, “Ragnar!” at him even though he’s told you he hasn’t seen Vikings. You will also have a preferred paint guy; you’ll be bummed when Glenn isn’t there and you need a gallon of Bit of Sugar. If you don’t have this experience, then I feel sorry for you. It takes no time to give someone a smile and ask how their day is, it takes very little effort to make friends because not only will they go out of their way to help you, but they’ll also put a smile on your face when you’re absolutely sick of hanging out in the plumbing aisle because you bought the wrong fittings. Again.
2. You will wear the same clothes for a week straight and not care. And your spouse won’t either. Because he’ll be doing the same damn thing because laundry is the last thing on your mind after a 16 hour work day. Once you get paint on your favorite yoga pants, there’s no point in potentially wrecking another pair while you’re still painting, am I right? Same with your sweatshirt. Actually, you’ll pretty much make it your entire remodel uniform to save your other clothes which is brilliant. It will seem like an even more brilliant idea when you decide to wear a different pair of pants to clean your stove because the painting is done and you tear them. In two places. I’m not sure if my friends at Home Depot will even recognize me if I wear something else at this point.
3. The girl who works the drive through at Carl’s Jr. will know that you like BBQ sauce with your onion rings and extra salsa with your street tacos. And she’ll automatically give it to you. And you may not catch on right away but when you do, you’ll be a bit embarrassed. If you’re anything like me, you’ll start by packing your most prized possessions which include your pots and pans. Your husband may sarcastically ask if you also packed the silverware; which you didn’t because you’re smart like that. No, seriously. I packed my pans on Day 1 but I still have my plates and forks. And Dave had to unpack the coffee. I think that’s called priorities. Or getting it wrong. Take your pick.
4. You may become insane enough to consider jumping out a window. Doing renovations will cost you money and potentially your sanity. We’ve had to cut holes in our bedroom ceiling at least twice, the first time was to move some gas lines for our heater and stove because our floor plan is inverted (meaning our living space is on the top floor above our bedroom) the second time was to fix gas leaks in those new lines. Finding those leaks and dealing with them was beyond frustrating. So, Dave was re-texturing our bedroom ceiling, a messy and difficult task, and he started joking about how I was “locked in” to helping him because he had taped the door closed. Then he realized that the texture was on the other side of that door. I noticed he gave a longing glance at the window to avoid having to re-tape the door and he likely would have used it as an exit but it wouldn’t have been so easy to come back in with the 5 gallon buck of mud. It’s days like these when you need to keep your sense of humor (because your wife will laugh at you if she’s not laughing with you).
5. You will realize more than ever what it’s like to be a team. If you’re remodeling with a spouse, those vows for better or worse may reverberate in your head during your journey. Dave and I work as a “team,” we are teammates in life but after this experience, that meaning has evolved for us. As a working team, we spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week together. We’re rarely apart and sometimes we even cook dinner together. Most think we’re nuts but it’s our dynamic, it’s what we’re used to. We started working together about 6 months into our relationship and a decade later, we still make it work. We’re not perfect but we balance each other. Where he is weak, I am strong and where I lack certain talents, he has them in spades; we’ve used this to our advantage professionally whether it’s picking the right person to negotiate with the other side or assisting our clients. So when it came to our remodel, I expected to approach it as a team. We’re on the same side, it’s not my tile versus his tile, it’s finding “our” tile but that’s a challenge in itself when you have very differing opinions about how you want your home to look and feel. This doesn’t mean we haven’t had disagreements or moments where we needed to be alone to collect our thoughts. Being a team is solving the problem through compromise and trust. At one point, we were at an absolute deadlock on paint colors. I bought 13 samples for 1 accent wall. We just couldn’t agree on anything and it was frustrating, unsettling, and very very real – this is that nightmare couples dread when remodeling. This is our home and we both have to live there and like it. I can honestly tell you that Dave gave up his fight for the color he loved; he wanted to move on. I picked a color (and it wasn’t the purple I wanted!) and it was a risk. Now, we both love it and neither of us would change it for the world. We may want those hours hemming and hawing back but we learned some lesson. I am too tired to recognize what it was but I’m sure it was there. It’s not all going to go perfectly but you you keep moving forward and at the end of the day, when you look at that person you vowed to spend your life with and you realize you couldn’t do this without them – that’s what it’s all about. Until it’s time to pick drawer pulls…
So, I did not intend to end on a sappy note but if you’ve stuck with me reading this, then I’d like to thank you. I appreciate you joining us on this new adventure. I can’t wait to share more useful tips with you and pictures of our work in progress.
Skokan Team with RE/MAX Star Properties 